Body Image

Like any other girl, I have struggled with body image my whole life. I have always thought that I stood out from my peers too much.

Being 5'6 tall at the time when I was only 13 years old, I was a giant compared to the other teeny tiny girls in my school. Because of my self-consciousness of my height, I automatically assumed I was FAT and BIG. Not only that, my built and my genes were a lot different than girls my own race. See, I'm Filipino and 99% of Filipinos are short, petite and THIN. Unlike me, who is, TALL, CURVY (darns those big hips of mine!) and NOT THIN. Being different, made me SUPER INSECURE.

Grade School Grad

Last year of high school

 

Modeling gig at around 13 yrs. old

Lately, I have been looking at pictures of me when I was in grade school and high school (Thanks to the tagged yearbook pics on facebook). I looked at myself and I thought, I LOOKED GREAT! What the hell was I thinking? I was not FAT at all! Yes, I was TALL, I towered over all the people in my school, even the boys. But I was not even close to being overweight. In fact, I want to look like I was exactly when I was 15 because I was probably 20 lbs. lighter than I am now.

 PROM!

Now, let's fast forward to post-baby. Boy, was I BIG. I never thought I could lose all that weight. I was so depressed after 3 or 4 months after my DD was born because Jessica Alba already posed bikini pictures of herself 2 or 3 months post-baby and I was still carrying 30 lbs of baby weight on me. (And I really dislike Jessica Alba just for the fact that my hubby had a crush on her during her 'Dark Angel' days, even though I loved the show myself). I got so fed-up with not having anything to wear other than yoga pants, that I finally decided to make proper use of those yoga pants instead of wearing them for everything else.

DD at 3 months old

It was a long journey of painful muscles, learning how to run, eat well and not succumbing to temptations. And after 5 months of living healthy and being fit, I was back into my skinny jeans. What I am most proud of now, is not the weight loss, but gaining the realization that REAL WOMEN don't lose 30 pounds the day their baby comes out. It is so screwed up that celebrities who just gave birth work out to death even before they are suppose to (Rule is check with the doctor or 60 days after birth). And they show off their amazing transformation to the world by saying 'I just ate healthy and did pilates', or something along those lines. In reality, I was a breast-feeding mama, who woke up every 2 to 3 hours to feed, with no Mom, friends or nannies to help me out. I could barely find time to sleep or make dinner, let alone workout.

Now (I didn't realize my hubby was in the background until I uploaded this)

Today, I am happy to say that I love my body that way it is. I have a realistic expectations and goals about my health and where I want to be fitness wise. Looking thin just comes second, it's how I feel that matters.

Right now, I feel healthy although a bit weak because my lack of workouts. So, I am just striving for that great 'I FEEL SO STRONG ' feeling rather than obsessing about the scale. Honestly, I haven't looked in the scale for 2 months now but my smallest sized jeans still fit, so that's a good sign.


I love to hear some of your thoughts about body image and maybe even some stories your willing to share similar to mine. It's going to be a long wonderful weekend coming and I just want to greet you all a

HAPPY EASTER!!!

My weekend is jampacked with church Easter celebrations, a birthday party, Youth Church event and half day work in the office on Saturday! Wish me luck getting a workout in. But I will sure try my best and let you know how it will all go down.

CUTE PIC OF THE WEEK

So, just for fun and with little effort, I will post a cute pic of the week. This could be anything adorable captured by my camera, phone cam or sent by you! Just send me a link by posting it on the comments area. Someday, I might work on having a direct e-mail link here. I would love to see and share cute pics of you, your family or pets!!!

This Cute pic of the week is my Darling Daughter just being her adorable self... proudly showing her pearly whites!

I hope you guys have a great weekend... I know I will!!!!

Office munchies

Ever since I worked 9-5, I have discovered my love for snacking. The craving comes around 3 to 4ish in the afternoon and most days, I munch on food that I regret munching on.

And when life gets really busy, I don't even have time to pack lunch. So, I stroll to the nearby Burger King, Pizza Pizza, Subway, Swiss Chalet, Tim Hortons, Pho restuarant or grocery store (they sell sushi and deli sandwiches). It's not only burning a hole in my wallet (debit card to be specific), but I'm undoing all the hard work I did with the weight loss.

My new work :)

So before I make any changes, let's take a peek of what junk food I have in my office:

This isn't too bad... non-fat yogurt (tho I think it has aspartame :| ) and Pure Cranberry, not the cocktail kind. The chocolate treats aren't mine... I guess I can throw that out.

Cereal isn't too bad, although I checked the nutrition info it has 200+ calories per serving, which is a lot! Peek Freans aren't mine...

Nuts (ok I guess in moderation); Granola bar (high in sugar); Chamomile tea (AWESOME); Instant French Vanilla (It's my emergency caffeine/sugar fix!)

Not mine, and I don't drink instant coffee or fake creamer... why would I if the greatest Coffee shop in the world is just across the street?

Oh Miss Vickies, how I adore you... These are the best chips evar!!!! (I HAVE TO THROW THIS OUT FOR SURE)

The crackers are whole wheat and orange is a great snack... and the can of tuna is my emergency 'I didn't have time to pack lunch' lunch.

Now, my goal is to eliminate all the junk food above and here is my plan:

• Throw all junk food out
• Buy veggies and fruits to put in the fridge for munching (Did this last night)
• Buy sandwich lunch items like turkey breast, whole wheat bread, baby spinach, roasted red peppers etc. for an easy lunch prep (Did this last night as well)
• Make homemade yogurt dips for veggies and fruits (Bought ingredients but haven't made them yet)
• Make time before bedtime to pack lunch and snacks to avoid lunch trips to fast food places and the nearby grocery store.

I am so lucky that I work with an awesome lady who is completely vegetarian. She continues to inspire me to kick the junk/fast food habit out and make healthy fresh lunches from home. She does not eat out at all and she makes her own food from scratch (even bread!). And did I mention, she has two kids to take care of while she works full time? Truly inspiring, I feel like a lazy bum compared to her.

Today, I am had leftover salmon with zucchini and red peppers with brown rice for lunch. And like I learned, portion is key. So I made sure the protein portion is only a size of a deck of cards and the carb is about 1/2 cup.

How do you keep your work or school lunches healthy? And how do you avoid the bad snacking part? I would love to hear from you...

New Everything

Wow, it's almost Easter! My past few months was a blur. Here is a quick update:

• I got another new job (A way better one, I might add). The commute is longer, therefore we are...
• Selling our house and looking for something in the Toronto west end neighborhood. I just hope this does not stress me out too much.
• My darling daughter is growing everyday, she is like a child almost.. but I still do see the baby in her sometimes. She talking like a big girl! although she can't pronounce well yet, her vocab is pretty impressive for a 20 month old.
• Sadly, my fitness stormed out of my life, went for a pack of smokes and never came back. It is a big struggle for me to fit workouts in my busy life, so I hope blogging about it will encourage me again (like it did before!)

I hope to produce an entry a day... long or short... So... let me go to lunch (because I'm starving, I'm having tuna and crackers with blueberries and an orange for dessert. This is a healthy lunch today because I've been feeling guilty about my Burger King visits last week)
and I will see you guys later for another exciting (or not) post!